CNN clown Brian Stelter was ridiculed Wednesday after he claimed that analyst Jeffrey Toobin’s decision to masturbate before properly finishing a Zoom call with his now former New Yorker colleagues was merely “an accident”.

Who on earth finishes a professional zoom call and then, within seconds and barely moving from their desk within full view of the camera, decides “time for a wank, I think.” ?

— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) October 19, 2020

Stelter tweeted that “Jeffrey Toobin has been sidelined at a pivotal moment in the run-up to the presidential election. The reason: He exposed himself during a Zoom call with New Yorker colleagues in what he says was an accident.”

Jeffrey Toobin has been sidelined at a pivotal moment in the run-up to the presidential election. The reason: He exposed himself during a Zoom call with New Yorker colleagues in what he says was an accident. Here's our full story https://t.co/pHHNURlxnR

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) October 20, 2020

Twitter wasn’t going to let this one go:

“I’ve never ‘accidentally’ masturbated in any situation and I’d guess that goes for 99.99 percent of people. What was accidental about it, that he was caught?” one respondent noted.

I've never accidentally masturbated in any situation and I'd guess that goes for 99.99% of people. What was accidental about it, that he was caught?

— Chunkin' Deuces (@ThiccceyWicket) October 20, 2020

Another wrote: “‘I believed I was not visible on Zoom’ is a lot like ‘I didn’t know there were cameras in the room where I exposed myself to the victim’. He was in a Zoom meeting with women on company time and couldn’t keep it in his pants? This is not just some embarrassing workplace mix-up.”

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom.” Is a lot like “I didn’t know there were cameras in the room where I exposed myself to the victim.”. He was in a Zoom meeting with women on company time and couldn’t keep it in his pants? This is not just some embarrassing workplace mix-up.

— Angel/Kitty✝️🕊🕶🔥 (@_HaikusGoddess) October 20, 2020

Another noted that ‘Toobin was in a work situation. His behavior was completely inappropriate and borders on predatory. He needs to be more than side-lined. He should be fired.”

Toobin was in a work situation. His behavior was completely inappropriate and borders on predatory. He needs to be more than side-lined. He should be fired.

— Trump is a Super-Spreader (@blueingreenemo) October 20, 2020

Others were more… to the point

Oops, I accidentally masturbated.
Said no-one, ever.

— Rounds (@RoundsR) October 20, 2020

I also pound my junk on zoom calls with my coworkers because of…checks notes…stress, says literally no one

— JP (@ishouldnobetter) October 20, 2020

Masturbation is generally not an accident when done by fully functioning adult males who are participating in virtual live video conferences.

— T-Minus 16 🕶 (@craydaysinusa) October 20, 2020

This is a lie and Vice updated hours ago that he was MASTURBATING during the zoom call. People at work do not have to be forced to watch a colleague masturbate unless it’s in their job description

— Mary D (@Marywhydoyou) October 20, 2020

You can also refrain from pulling out your goober while on a Zoom call, but what do I know, I’m only experienced at one of these things and it’s safe to assume Zoom ain’t it. pic.twitter.com/2wvznePeZC

— Hightower 🇺🇸 (@Scott_Hightower) October 20, 2020

It was most certainly an accident that his colleagues saw him chokin' the chicken, but it was definitely not an accident that he was spankin' it during a work conference call.

— A_Suburbian (@ASuburbian) October 20, 2020

He'll be missed on debate night.

He was a master-debate analyst.

— Couldn't Say the Wouldn't for the Treason. (@TheAnuhart) October 20, 2020

Toobin, who apologized Monday, saying he had ‘made an embarrassingly stupid mistake’, was suspended from the New Yorker after the incident, but may not be fired from CNN, according to the network.

A CNN insider told Fox News on Tuesday  that Toobin is “He is one of the biggest faces on the network,” adding that he is “too valuable of a commodity” and “good on TV.”

It was previously revealed that Toobin had a ten year affair with younger lawyer Casey Greenfield, the daughter of Toobin’s former CNN colleague Jeff Greenfield, who fell pregnant in 2008, prompting Toobin to deny he was the father.

Toobin refused a paternity test and offered Greenfield money for an abortion. When she refused, he tried to bargain, asking Greenfield to terminate the pregnancy in exchange for payment for a new pregnancy via a sperm donor.

Greenfield had the child, and Toobin has refused to accept he is the father, prompting her to sue him for child support.

Greenfield has claimed that Toobin had multiple other mistresses during the time of their affair.

The San Diego Unified School District has announced that it will eliminate its previously used grading standards in order to “combat racism”.

The move came about after it was revealed that just 7% of D or F grades are handed out to white students, while 23% went to Native Americans, 23% of failing grades went to Hispanics and 20% went to black students.

However, instead of trying to develop an actual understanding of why this is taking place, the school district simply announced that “discrimination” and “racism” were to blame before embarking on a complete do-over of the grading system in order to combat this apparent injustice.

Academic grades will now not be dependent on early tests (meaning students could flunk them and not have it affect their final grade), and grades “will now focus on mastery of the material, not a yearly average.”

Teachers will also not be able to consider non-material factors like bad behavior in the classroom and not handing in work on time when grading students.

The horrific irony of this of course is that is will simply incentivize already underperforming students to act out in class and miss coursework deadlines.

“The board will also review potential student disparities stemming from its zero-tolerance disciplinary policy on cheating in the coming weeks,” reports NBC News.

Once again, this will only have the impact of encouraging underperforming students to cheat more.

“This is part of our honest reckoning as a school district,” said SDUSD Vice President Richard Barrera. “If we’re actually going to be an anti-racist school district, we have to confront practices like this that have gone on for years and years.”

All of these measures are guaranteed to harm non-white students, not help them.

By way of the bigotry of low expectations, predominantly white liberal education officials are enacting policies that will increase the chances of Native American, Hispanic and black students leaving school with lackadaisical mental attitudes and poor skill sets, making their entry into the jobs market even harder.

“This epitomizes the liberal strategy for eliminating the racial disparities they endlessly obsess on: bring everyone down to a lowest common denominator. This debases education, as moonbattery debases everything it touches,” writes Dave Blount.

“Allowing progressives to take over the schools was a catastrophic error.”

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“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.”

― Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

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