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New ‘Wearable Chair’ Allows You to be a Sit Down Slave at All Times

Making Wall-E a reality.

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Humans are now so permanently sedentary, a company has developed a “wearable chair” that lets you sit down anywhere.

The chair appears to be about as comfortable as a squatty potty and looks absolutely ridiculous, but it lets you stare at your phone in a slightly more convenient way than standing up.

Living the dream!

The chair, which is called LEX and costs $186 dollars, can only support up to 265 pounds of weight, so obese lazy people who are most likely to want to use it won’t be able to.

The creators say the chair will “change how we use our workspace,” meaning you will no longer have to be physically located in your slave pod as you toil away for a faceless transnational corporation.

But hey, given that our future is living in reclaimed sewer pipes because no one can afford actual houses, maybe the wearable chair will become a practical space-saving utility item.

Respondents weren’t too impressed.

“I feel like they’re trying to make wall-e a reality,” commented one.

“I think in the next version it will come with an attached toilet,” remarked another.

“Perfect for lazy fucks who don’t want to stand and increase lethargic tendencies,” said another.

One Twitter user summed it up nicely.

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Bizarre

Learn Who Sold Their Soul To Satan

The battle within.

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Alex Jones discusses who has sold their soul to the devil and why.

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Former Congressman Insinuates Kevin Spacey is Responsible For His Accuser’s Death

“Frank Underwood returns.”

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Former Republican Congressman Trey Radel reacted to the news that one of Kevin Spacey’s accusers had died by insinuating that the actor may have been responsible.

The accuser, whose identity was kept secret from Spacey, claimed that the House of Cards star made him touch Spacey’s genitals while performing a massage.

Earlier today it was revealed that the accuser had died after Spacey’s lawyers filed a “notice of statement noting plaintiff’s death.”

This prompted Radel, who was in Congress for a year between January 2013 and January 2014, to suggest that Spacey may have been involved.

“Frank Underwood returns,” tweeted Radel, referring to Spacey’s House of Cards character who became notorious for having his enemies killed and making it look like an accident.

The ex-Congressman was likely joking, but his sentiment was shared by numerous other Twitter users.

Over a dozen people have made accusations that Spacey sexually assaulted them, including actor Anthony Rapp who alleged that Spacey made a sexual advance toward him when he was 14.

Spacey denies the allegations and the charges in the most recent trial against him were dropped.

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San Diego State University Normalizes Pedophilia as a “Sexual Orientation”

Says it could be part of the “acceptance of diverse sexual identities.”

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San Diego State University is teaching students that pedophilia could merely be considered to be an alternative “sexual orientation.”

“An actual topic we discussed in class today at a State University after watching an 8 minute Vice News video showcasing self identified pedophiles. This is going to be mainstreamed,” tweeted Alex Mazzara.

The photo shows a presentation slide entitled ‘Pedophilia as a Sexual Orientation’.

It suggests that embracing pedophilia as an alternative sexual orientation could be part of the “acceptance of diverse sexual identities.”

The VICE video showcasing pedophiles may well have been their platforming of Todd Nickerson, a self confessed pedophile.

VICE’s article about Nickerson sympathetically portrayed him, an individual who openly admits wanting to molest children, as a victim of right-wing “vigilantes”.

Conservatives have been warning for years that the ultimate endgame of every fetish, gender identity and sexuality being not merely tolerated but endorsed would eventually be the mainstreaming of pedophilia.

We are now not far away from that very eventuality.

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