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New ‘Wearable Chair’ Allows You to be a Sit Down Slave at All Times

Making Wall-E a reality.

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Humans are now so permanently sedentary, a company has developed a “wearable chair” that lets you sit down anywhere.

The chair appears to be about as comfortable as a squatty potty and looks absolutely ridiculous, but it lets you stare at your phone in a slightly more convenient way than standing up.

Living the dream!

The chair, which is called LEX and costs $186 dollars, can only support up to 265 pounds of weight, so obese lazy people who are most likely to want to use it won’t be able to.

The creators say the chair will “change how we use our workspace,” meaning you will no longer have to be physically located in your slave pod as you toil away for a faceless transnational corporation.

But hey, given that our future is living in reclaimed sewer pipes because no one can afford actual houses, maybe the wearable chair will become a practical space-saving utility item.

Respondents weren’t too impressed.

“I feel like they’re trying to make wall-e a reality,” commented one.

“I think in the next version it will come with an attached toilet,” remarked another.

“Perfect for lazy fucks who don’t want to stand and increase lethargic tendencies,” said another.

One Twitter user summed it up nicely.

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‘Desmond is Amazing’ Appears in Front of Painting With ‘Rohypnol’ Written On It

12-year-old ‘drag queen kid’ appears alongside 53-year-old who killed his drug dealer.

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A new video has emerged showing ‘Desmond is Amazing’ – the 12-year-old “drag queen kid” – appearing in front of a poster with the word ‘Rohypnol’ written on it.

In the video, Desmond appears alongside Michael Alig, a 53-year-old former club promoter who served 17 years in prison for manslaughter for killing his drug dealer and then chopping up his dead body.

Alig’s website features numerous other paintings, including one of a “glowing demon baby,” several that feature pills or packets of Rohypnol and another entitled “Michael’s cum on Hitler’s face.”

Earlier this year we highlighted how a convicted child porn peddler wrote an article in which he described ‘Desmond is Amazing’ as “hot.”

As we reported back in June, reacting to concerns over Desmond’s performance at a gay night club in New York where attendees threw money at the child, his mother defended the decision, telling an Australian TV show, “I don’t understand what the controversy is.”

Desmond was previously involved in ‘Drag Queen Storytime’ – in which drag queens visit schools and libraries across America to read to children.

He also appeared on camera with a drag queen and mimicked snorting Ketamine, the horse tranquilizer that has become popular as a psychedelic drug.

One of the participants at a Drag Queen Story Time event in Houston, 32-year-old Albert Garza, later turned out to be a registered sex offender who was convicted of assaulting an eight-year-old boy in 2008.

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Prince Andrew Blinks 10 Times in 10 Seconds During Response to Question About Whether He Had Sex With Minor

Just a coincidence.

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Prince Andrew blinked 10 times in 10 seconds during his response to a question about whether he had sex with an underage girl who had been trafficked by Jeffrey Epstein.

During a BBC interview, the Duke of York was asked about Virginia Giuffre, who was pictured with and claimed she had sex with Prince Andrew when she was 17-years-old.

I have no recollection of ever meeting this lady, none whatsoever,” said the Duke.

“You don’t remember meeting her?” he was then asked.

“No,” responded Prince Andrew.

During his answer, the Duke blinked no less than 10 times in the space of just 10 seconds.

According to numerous scientific studies, including one published by the Journal of Non-verbal Behaviour, rapid blinking is a reliable indicator that a person is lying.

Indeed, that study found that when the subject is being asked a question, “the blink rate in the liars went down.” While Prince Andrew was listening to the question, he didn’t blink once.

The study found that after the question was asked, “the blink rate of the liars increased rapidly,” which is exactly what happened during Prince Andrew’s interview.

Again, this is just a coincidence and suggests absolutely nothing untoward.

Elsewhere in the interview, the Duke of York said he believes palling around with and staying at the house of a convicted sex offender two years after Epstein was charged with having sex with minors was at the time “the honorable and right thing to do.”

Again, nothing out of the ordinary there.

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London Eatery Serving Up WORM BURGERS

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Steve Watson

Trendy ‘urban farm’ says it’s helping save the planet with ‘Bug macs’

A trendy ‘urban farm’ in London is serving up burgers made from live worms, claiming that they are tastier than beef burgers and will help save the planet.

Horizon, an insect farm in London, produces thousands of worms and crickets for its customers to eat.

It claims to use leftover food from local businesses to feed the insects, including Mealworms, and says that the worms only require 10% of the land used for beef, and produce far less CO2.

‘Experimental chef’ Tiziana Di Costanzo, the founder of the ‘farm’, says that the insects have a ‘nutty to earthy flavour’, and claims that she can produce enough worms to feed her family with just bran and used vegetable peel.

“Let them crawl into your menu once, and you’ll be hooked! Costanzo said, adding that “Once you get past the ‘yuck effect’, you’ll find that they actually taste really good.”

“We are hoping to scale up the operation to a production of 100kg per week in the next 6 months, all of this with zero waste” Costanzo added.

The craze for eating insects stems from UN guidelines that “promote insects as a sustainable high-protein food.”

The London insect farm is holding events to teach people how to cook with worms and crickets. Dishes include the afore mentioned burger, as well as cricket bruschetta, curry and coriander mealworm fritters, crispy chocolate mealworm cupcakes and cinnamon and raisin insect biscuits.

No thanks.

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